How deep is too deep?

On one of my recent trips I was blessed to experience massages in 3 different continents. Each was unique and different. Just like having different lovers. Massage involves an energy exchange, intimacy, and trust that the person you are gifting your body to for an hour or so knows what they are doing. I found myself questioning “Is this too deep?” “Is this helping my lymphatic drainage?” “I hope this person knows what they are doing?!” “Should I say anything?” “Should I ask for what I want?”

And sometimes it is the same when experiencing love-making. “Should I ask for what I want?” “When is deep too deep?”

How much do we let go and trust and how much do we speak our truth and ask for what we want?

I have a lot of experience in both massage and love-making and know what I like, but sometimes I still question whether I should just trust that what I am being given is a gift that will benefit me without having to “always be in control.”

When two (or more) connect via touch it is an opportunity to utilize that touch for healing, nourishing and relaxation. When I lie on a massage table my body instantly relaxes and I do a little prayer/statement of intent, that I trust the universe will provide the most nourishing experience for my body. I use the professional touch to surf deep into my own cellular structure and feel where my tightness is and breath life and expansion into those cells. I am usually quite vocal so the massager knows whether I am enjoying it or if I am finding it too painful. Skilled massagers know to respond and ask if their touch is strong enough, or too strong. Mostly I trust that they know but if I find myself recoiling or feeling uncomfortable I definitely speak out loud and ask for what I want.

I love going deep into my cells and seeing what emotion is tied into the tightness, or if there was a certain experience that caused my cells to constrict. I love to work in unison with the massager, to breathe and release the tension. I love the feeling of submission. Of not having to “do” anything, but just to be there and receive.

And it is the same with love-making. Such an intricate dance of energy. Of to and fro. Of give and receive, submit and release. Of allowing yet maintaining awareness of comfort levels, joy and pleasure. When is deep too deep and hard too hard?

The dance… should we be in the lead or allow ourselves to be lead? How much is too much? How deep is too deep…