Mother’s Day 2024
As I sit in my office on this special day, in front of me is an image of me and my Mum taken on the beach, St Clair, in Dunedin New Zealand where we spent many hours together. Inside that frame is another photo taken of me as a 6-year-old with my Mum when we won the Mother Daughter Prize at the Caroline Bay Competition in Timaru, New Zealand in 1972.
Memories flood in as I reflect on how blessed I was to have been born in New Zealand to such an amazing Mum that showered me with love my whole life!
My brother was born 7 years before me and the Doctor knew my Mum really wanted a little girl. Back in those days they pre-determined the sex of the unborn by the frequency of the heartbeat. The Doctor told my Mum that he was sure her unborn child was going to be a little boy. So, when I popped out as a little girl my Mum was beyond thrilled! She had so much fun making clothes for me, dressing me up, chatting with me about my day at school, encouraging me with my little dances and songs I would make up, showing me how to cook, showering me with love.
I am not sure whether the Doctor just didn’t want her to be disappointed if I turned out to be a boy or whether my heart rate really was that of a male but I was always a very active, sporty, exuberant child. Later on, when I went through menopause and had my hormones checked, the hormone doctor commented that she had never seen someone with such a high testorerone level! Maybe that explains why I have always been super active, loved swimming, skiing, riding motorcycles, racing classic cars…
But I was always a girly girl too. Long Shirley Temple style golden locks. I loved dressing up, and still do! I am so happy to have been born a girl but also to be a sporty girl, loving life and all it has to offer.
My Mum was a model and a stunner! She adored me and inspired me to stand tall and be proud of who I am. She was an incredible wife and Mother and dedicated her life to us all.
I miss her. She passed in 2018. But am forever grateful for all she did for me and encouraged me to be.
She had a dominating Mother and my Mum was very shy so she inspired me from a very young age to be independent and secure in myself. My Grandmother lived on the other side of town and on many a Saturday afternoon my Mum would put me on the bus, by myself and I would travel the entire town to the other side where my Grandmother would pick me up and we would spend many Saturday nights together so my parents could have some adult time! I think I was only 6 years old when I first started traveling by myself and have continued that sense of independence since then.
I haven’t had any children myself, a conscious choice, but admire the women who have undertaken that role! We are all Mother’s in the sense that we lovingly care for those around us, but to give birth and raise a child/children is a massive undertaking and commitment! I honor you all and wish you a special day, today and every day.
One of the qualities I cherish in Mothers is their ability to love ALL their children. We all have that capability and it was this reality that inspired me in my work as a sexologist specializing in open relationships. A Mother does not just love one of her children. She loves them all. Just as we are also capable of loving more than one person. Our love is not limited to one. We are capable of loving as many as we can!
So, I embody the Mother in me that is able to share love, nourish and adore the many wonderful people in my life! I appreciate you and love you for who you are.
Each person is unique and original. We cannot change who they are. They are who they are. We can love them for who they are and cherish them for who they are.
I am who I am. I was born to loving parents who nurtured and adored me and encouraged me to be all I could be. I give thanks on a daily basis for the love I receive and the love that I share with the people in my world.
Dr Shelley
