Death… Life…


With my Mother’s recent passing, I have been reflecting a lot of life. On my Mother’s life, as she gave me life. Her life through my eyes. Her life after life. My life…

I’m not sure if I made this up but my first memory of life was flying around the universe/world as we know it, in an energy form, looking down on planet earth, San Francisco, in the 60’s and thinking.. “Wow! That looks like a great place to land! Peace and love, everyone getting high, getting it on! Music, dancing…” but as I was never very good at math, I jokingly say, I forgot to calculate the earth’s rotational orbit and by the time I landed, I ended up on the other side of the earth, on the almost southern most point of the planet…. Dunedin, New Zealand. And then when I finally arrived back in the San Francisco Bay Area I felt right at home! Especially in Santa Cruz, California. A laid back, beach vibe, stoner town. 

But having recently returned from the other side of the earth, my original landing spot, to Santa Cruz, I am reflecting that a part of my soul definitely chose Dunedin, New Zealand, the location on this planet, and my Mum and Dad, specifically for me to enter back to planet earth.

As strange as all that sounds, it feels very real to me. I feel my soul consciously chose my Mother, to give birth to me. She was absolutely gorgeous, a model, sassy, flirtatious, sexy… and my Dad, a good looking, solid, work hard, play hard type of guy, and Dunedin, a very clear, clean, fresh, pretty much safe town to grow up in with plenty of opportunities to enjoy the outdoors, good education, variety of sports and music, activities… 

Reflecting, I feel very blessed. I loved growing up by St Clair beach in Dunedin. The moment I was born, I was loved and adored. I had everything and anything I could possibly want. I was supported in every decision I made. Encouraged to do whatever I could possibly think up doing. Tap dance, ballet, modern dance, theater, music (piano, clarinet, orchestras), all sports including swimming, tennis, golf, basketball, skiing…

Educationally I was helped and encouraged to do the best I possibly could so I did! I started school early and left school early gaining a scholarship to go a year early to University. And at the end of my first year at University I was invited to join the Honors program. 

Whatever I chose to do in my life I was 100% supported by my parents. That installed in me the belief that I could do whatever I wanted in this life and would be supported in my choice. If I followed my heart then I could only be supported in my choices. And that is how I have lived my life. And I do feel supported on every level. Financially, physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually and energetically. 

My other early memory was went I was about 6 years old. My father played in a brass band and every year in my home town there is a festival and a procession with floats and bands. My dad was in demand as there was a limited supply of tuba players who could walk and play at the same time. My Mum and I stood in the main center of town at the Octagon and watched proudly and waved as my Dad walked by playing his tuba. We waited on him to return. We waited and waited…

We eventually found out he had a massive coronary attack as he was changing his uniform and getting ready to march back down the main street for another band. But lucky for him, and us, he had his heart attack right on the steps of the hospital and was able to be rushed in and brought back to life. If it had happened anywhere else he would not have made it. 

I remember, on some level, thinking then…. What would my life be like without my Dad? I imagined all the scenarios. But was happy to realize that the scenario I liked best and that which eventuated was life with my Dad as from that point on he took his life and health and family seriously and wanted only to be the best dad, the best husband, the best boss and best friend ever. He focused his life on being healthy, keeping fit, being of service to his community, participating in life and love as fully as he could, right up to his dying breath. He died on Easter Sunday afternoon whilst making love with my mother… how beautiful is that? The day after my 3rd wedding ceremony (I had one in New Zealand with family there, and one in North America with friends and family there, and then a 3rd one in Europe with friends and family there). I was my husband’s third wife so I jokingly said I was trying to catch up by having 3 wedding ceremonies! It was the morning after the wedding the evening before that I found out my father had died. It was as if he waited until he knew for sure that his one and only daughter was married to the man she loved and adored who would cherish her and look after her from that moment on. The baton was passed….

My other early memory of death was of my first boyfriend Michael… summer lovers. Such wild and passionate first love. Kisses, fondling, sliding… whoops! Can’t go there… need a condom… then the following day, on his way to complete what we started, with a condom in his pocket, he dies. I was waiting in our caravan at the campsite near the river where we had pre-arranged to meet that afternoon… waiting and waiting… 

The police officer finally arrived to let us know of Michael’s death… I was devastated… he was the one. I was madly and passionately in love with him. He was to be my first and only love. I had imagined our life together, the children we would have…

And then he was gone… and that visualization smashed forever. 

Only now to see the bigger picture and why Michael had to die. If he had lived then I would have lived out my visualization and lived happily ever after with Michael.

I wouldn’t have traveled around the earth in search of physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual fulfillment. I wouldn’t have met my love and life partner Denie. I wouldn’t have lived this life. It would have been another life. But I am so glad it has been this life. This life has been magical, mystical, wonderful, exciting, satisfying, adventuresome, rewarding and amazing.

It is a little scary for some people maybe to think that whatever they visualize they can manifest and create in their lives but I encourage you all to really take a moment to sit quietly and paint the picture in your minds eye of what life you would like for yourself. Where would you ideally like to live? What type of house? What location? What type of car would you drive? What family would you have around you? How many lovers? One? Two? Three? Children? Toys? A boat? An RV? How many vacations would you like? Where would you like to travel? How active sexually would you like to be? Once a day? Three times a day? Once a week? How about work? What would you like to do to make money? Other activities in your life? Sport?

Next step is to write it down, make a visualization board, or paint it… 

Then let that expectation go and allow the universe to catch up and help you create that reality.

Just tune in now and again to fine-tune your visualization, edit it if you need to, add more detail… 

Be aware that energy follows awareness so where you focus your thoughts, there you be. So rather than focus on what you don’t have, and what you don’t want, focus your energy on the life you envisage for yourself that brings you joy, happiness, and fulfillment. Visualize yourself in the situations you wish for yourself. Feel the joy in your cells as you see yourself in those scenes… when you have a quiet moment reflect on your wishlist, edit it, refine it… believe it and it will be. Have fun creating!!!

Join me on our 5 Day Energy Immersion process in Flagstaff, AZ Sept. 20 – Oct 5. We create space for you to visualize, manifest, activate and physicalize… space is limited. Email me at info@DrShelleys.com